“And he’ll be like a book you read long ago. If you trust that—if it’s meant to be, then it will be again. And if it’s not, you will wake up one day and realize that you haven’t even thought of him once. And then you’ll be free.” – Endless Love
Spoiler Alert: In Endless Love, the couple is madly in love (duh), then they let each other go but eventually end up together. In my twenty years of life I’ve met countless girls who hope their breakups will end up like this, that the boy they want back so badly will mend their broken heart—I’m guilty of it too.
We all have one person in our life who will forever have a place in our heart that no one else can fill. It doesn’t matter if you fall in love a hundred times after you let go of the one who meant the most—he’ll still have that piece of your heart that you can’t get back even if you tried. He’ll drift in and out of your life without warning, mess with your emotions and make you question your sanity—but at the end of the day, you hope to get it right with him.
Maybe getting it right means falling back in love, or maybe it means having a civil relationship where you can still bring yourself to say hello without your voice cracking and your heart breaking. You let him have a million chances, even when some people in your life don’t even get two. You’d never give up on him because even though you want to hate him so badly for breaking you, you truly do love him and love having him in your life.
You know it’s a mistake to keep him in your life because you risk falling back in love, but you still keep him by your side—ready to call or text at any waking moment. As much as you hate to admit it, he’s the basis of what you look for in others. Whether it be other love interests or just casual friendships, there are qualities in his endless love that you will forever desire.
You can fight for hours and be laughing the next time you talk. Even if you’ve both moved on, nothing will hurt you more than seeing each other hurt. You’d stand by him through anything if he asked you to. He’ll be your safety net and your friends will tell you to drop him from your life because he doesn’t deserve you. But the truth is, did either of you ever really deserve each other?
You were almost too perfect for each other—so perfect that it was inevitable that things would fall apart. You swore to each other that you’d always be there for each other, and that’s why you won’t let go. You don’t break promises and you know he doesn’t either. It doesn’t matter if it’s two in the morning and he’s with his new girlfriend—if you need him, he’ll be there. And the same goes for him, and he knows that. Your friends may never understand, but you won’t think twice about accepting his phone call after he’s ignored you for three weeks. You tell your friends you’re sick of his games and lies but when it comes down to it, you can’t wait to ask him how his day was.
You want only the best for him, even if you aren’t always part of it. His accomplishments still make you proud after all this time and you love watching him grow from a careless boy into a thoughtful man. Knowing him has made you a better person and you’re thankful for every memory you’ve had with him—good and bad.
One day he may introduce you to his one and only and you’ll hold your pride and wish him the best. It’s not what you wanted, of course. You’ve been dreaming about a future that you don’t know exists. You hold on to that string of hope in the back of your mind that you’ll get it right. You’ll love him until the day you decide that you’ve had enough—and then you’ll be free.