Dear Papa Bear,
Thank you for raising me to become a strong woman. Mom had a huge part in that too, but this letter is for you because of who you are as a man.
Growing up, I always envied you. How you could do 1,000 things at once, pack your day from 5 am to 5 pm, and still come home with a smile on your face and a kiss for your wife. Your evenings were spent doing typical dad things—housework, yard-work, bills, taxes, or just goofing off in the garage. But between your busy schedule and spending quality time with mom, you always made time for me. To me this was special, because I looked around at many of my girlfriends who had little to no relationship with their dads, and I was sad for them. You not only read me every Harry Potter book, you also took me to every midnight book release and movie premiere. You watched Jeopardy with me (carrot! Grape!) and you taught me so many things. I hope you don't mind if I list a few.
Golf: From my first plastic set of clubs, I should have known the golfer I'd grow up to be. Thank you for watching me with a glisten in your eyes, believing in every swing I took, and coaching me from that first set to today.
Use your words: To this day I'm in awe of how many friendships you have, and how many people greet you with a smile and a handshake on every encounter. You taught me that words are the strongest and most dangerous tool a person has, so I should think before I speak. Because of that, I've maintained many wonderful friendships over the years. And I thank you for that.
Boys are evil: This is something they taught you to say in dad school, right? I could come home in tears, I could come home pissed off, and every time it was about a boy, I'd get a kiss on the head and hear those three words like a broken record: "boys are evil". From you I learned what kind of man I want to give my love to. In my eyes, he has to be exactly like you. Strong. Funny. Loving. Thoughtful. Spontaneous. Godly. Thank you for setting the bar so high that I still refuse to settle for cute boys I see in bars... or Yankee fans.
It will all be ok: Man oh man, I am a stressed out woman. Sometimes we stress together. Sometimes mom has to tell us to both chill because we throw gasoline on each other's fires. But at the end of the day, I hear you telling me that everything will be ok. As I grow up, I try to worry less about the little stuff (I know you'll find that funny, but I'm trying!) and instead, I spend that time being grateful for my life as it is. Thank you for being the man who will reassure me of my safety and my future, even when the world seems to be crashing down around me.
You can be whatever you want: I have always felt a slight pressure to go on to some super smart career. I mean, come on, you're a computer scientist and moms an engineer and math genius. When I realized I wanted to make art for my career, I was scared shitless. I felt like I was letting you down, I felt like I wasn't living up to the Graziano standard. But you never made me feel like that. You told me from day one that I could be whatever I want. So thank you for spending four years of college making fun of art school, but for supporting my every move. By the way, if I can be anything I want, can you explain to me why I'm not a princess married to Tiger Woods right now? I'm pretty sure that's what I wanted to be.
Believe in your dreams: So cheesy, I know. But how could I not follow up "you can be anything you want" with this one? How many times have I wanted to quit? I'm sure you keep count. Quit sports, quit dance, quit school, quit life. You never let me. Every ski race I would come in last, but you still bought me new skis and stood in the freezing cold to watch me finish. Every time I sucked at a core class in college, you would always request for me to bring the piece of art home so you could put it in your office. You always encouraged me, and you always empowered me.
Coming home on breaks from college in my senior year, I started to wonder if I was getting too old to talk to you every day, or to cuddle with you on the couch while we watched golf tournaments. I thought, when will I have to sit in my own corner? Will I ever be too old to put my head on your belly and listen to you yell at the TV? I think not. I will always be your baby girl, but now I'm a woman and while I try to navigate this crazy thing called life after college, I'm beyond lucky to be the daughter of a man who empowers me, supports me, and believes in me.
One thing will always stand out to me when I think of you. Senior year, when I missed the state championships for golf by a few strokes because of a monsoon and some crappy rules, you wrote a letter to the MSGA about the unfair disadvantage that the ladies were given. Damn. You're an awesome dad. You make me feel strong and proud to be a woman. You stand up for my rights on the golf course and in politics. You never pushed me to be anything I didn't want to be, and you never ridiculed me for failing. I grew up confident in myself; I was proud of my academics, I loved being part of my community, I stood deep in my faith, and I never picked my body apart even though teen magazines begged me to. All thanks to you.
So thank you for being the best dad a girl could ask for. I will always cuddle up to you on the couch, today, or when you're 92.
Love,
Littlemunch