A note about endless love

“And he’ll be like a book you read long ago. If you trust that—if it’s meant to be, then it will be again. And if it’s not, you will wake up one day and realize that you haven’t even thought of him once. And then you’ll be free.” – Endless Love


Spoiler Alert: In Endless Love, the couple is madly in love (duh), then they let each other go but eventually end up together. In my twenty years of life I’ve met countless girls who hope their breakups will end up like this, that the boy they want back so badly will mend their broken heart—I’m guilty of it too.

We all have one person in our life who will forever have a place in our heart that no one else can fill. It doesn’t matter if you fall in love a hundred times after you let go of the one who meant the most—he’ll still have that piece of your heart that you can’t get back even if you tried. He’ll drift in and out of your life without warning, mess with your emotions and make you question your sanity—but at the end of the day, you hope to get it right with him.

Maybe getting it right means falling back in love, or maybe it means having a civil relationship where you can still bring yourself to say hello without your voice cracking and your heart breaking. You let him have a million chances, even when some people in your life don’t even get two. You’d never give up on him because even though you want to hate him so badly for breaking you, you truly do love him and love having him in your life.

You know it’s a mistake to keep him in your life because you risk falling back in love, but you still keep him by your side—ready to call or text at any waking moment. As much as you hate to admit it, he’s the basis of what you look for in others. Whether it be other love interests or just casual friendships, there are qualities in his endless love that you will forever desire.

You can fight for hours and be laughing the next time you talk. Even if you’ve both moved on, nothing will hurt you more than seeing each other hurt. You’d stand by him through anything if he asked you to. He’ll be your safety net and your friends will tell you to drop him from your life because he doesn’t deserve you. But the truth is, did either of you ever really deserve each other?

You were almost too perfect for each other—so perfect that it was inevitable that things would fall apart. You swore to each other that you’d always be there for each other, and that’s why you won’t let go. You don’t break promises and you know he doesn’t either. It doesn’t matter if it’s two in the morning and he’s with his new girlfriend—if you need him, he’ll be there. And the same goes for him, and he knows that. Your friends may never understand, but you won’t think twice about accepting his phone call after he’s ignored you for three weeks. You tell your friends you’re sick of his games and lies but when it comes down to it, you can’t wait to ask him how his day was.

You want only the best for him, even if you aren’t always part of it. His accomplishments still make you proud after all this time and you love watching him grow from a careless boy into a thoughtful man. Knowing him has made you a better person and you’re thankful for every memory you’ve had with him—good and bad.

One day he may introduce you to his one and only and you’ll hold your pride and wish him the best. It’s not what you wanted, of course. You’ve been dreaming about a future that you don’t know exists. You hold on to that string of hope in the back of your mind that you’ll get it right. You’ll love him until the day you decide that you’ve had enough—and then you’ll be free. 

25 things that make me happy (in no particular order)

1. My best friends

2. Spaghetti and meatballs

3. Tanlines

4. The color pink

5. Gossip Girl

6. Gel manicures

7. Bean boots

8. Studying abroad

9. Family get-togethers

10. Red Sox games

11. Puppies

12. A fully charged phone

13. Fielder’s Choice ice cream

14. Late night drives

15. Muddy toes

16. Soft Vineyard Vines t-shirts

17. Readfield, ME

18. Taylor Swift albums

19. Frozen yogurt

20. Readfield United Methodist Church

21. The view from Kents Hill ski hill

22. Good hair days

23. L.L.Bean flannel shirts

24. Savannah, GA

25. Caramel Apple Spice at Starbucks


In such a busy world we sometimes forget to stop and remember the things that truly make us happy. I’m not talking about long, thought-out explanations of happiness and what it means, but simple things that make us happy no matter what (yes, the Red Sox make me happy even when they lose---which is often.)

I’ve come to realize that I’m blessed to have this life and I fully intend on waking up happy every day, ready to experience anything the day throws at me. I challenge you to make a list of twenty-five things that make you happy. Once you've done that, go out and enjoy them. 

10 reasons why moms are the best

This year is my 20th birthday, so it’s also my moms 20th year being a mom. That’s a pretty big deal. At this point in my life she has probably helped me through every situation you can think of: school, jobs, friendships, relationships, and everywhere in between. I’m lucky to have such a fun relationship with my mom. In honor of Mothers Day, I want to share my top 10 reasons of why moms are the best. So to all the moms out there, Happy Mothers Day, we love you so much. 


She literally never gets sick of your hugs and kisses: While boyfriends and your best friends eventually tell you to stop hugging them because they understand that you love them, your mom will never refuse a hug or kiss. I probably smother my mom way too much 99% of the time I’m around her, but she takes every hug and kiss like it’s the last one she’ll get. 

She tells you when something looks awful on you: If I need something for an important event or I have to go shopping for a lot of stuff, you better believe I’m bringing my mom. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought something makes me look like a goddess and my mom has told me the complete opposite. Thank goodness she’s there to help.

She always sides with you (unless it’s against her): If you have a problem with a girl at school, she has a problem with her too. If you breakup with your boyfriend, your mom definitely doesn’t like him as much as she used to (she’s too nice to hate him as much as you do.) But don’t even try to argue with your mom, because she’s ALWAYS right. Seriously, I know it’s hard to admit, but it’s true.

She makes the most delicious food ever: Mom, if you’re reading this… Please send me some of your blueberry crumb cake. SO GOOD. Seriously, I don’t know what it is, but moms seem to have some special ingredient in every single one of their dishes! Everything they cook is delicious and on top of that, they’re the only one who seems to know the correct ratio of lemonade mix to water.

She takes care of you when you’re sick: Mom gives me chicken noodle soup, takes me on trips to the doctors, and comes running downstairs when I yell “MOM!” in the middle of the night. I don’t know how she does it, but I thank God every day that she does. Even when I’m sick all the way down here at college, if I need her at 3 am to diagnose me over the phone, she will.

She is proud to be herself: My mom is so proud to be herself! And I am so proud to have her as my role model. We’re all still a little self-confident with our bodies, and we’re all still a little cautious of how we look in pictures before they end up on social media. Not mom, she could care less. She’s proud of her stretch marks from carrying me for nine months, she knows she’s beautiful without makeup, and she’s proud of who she is. I see it. When she solves a math problem at the kitchen table, I can hear that little victory song that she dances to because she feels that much more accomplished. My mom rocks. 

She compliments you and is 100% truthful: Sometimes friends will tell you that you look great just to get you out of the house. Mom tells you that you look great because you do. If you look bad, she’s going to tell you, but when she compliments you, she goes all out. She honestly knows you are the most beautiful girl she has ever seen. It’s not a lie, she’s not just saying it to make you feel better; she knows you’re gorgeous.

She will drop everything just to hear your voice: This hit me just a couple of weeks ago when I called my mom on a school night. I think it was a Thursday. She was sitting at the table eating dinner and the dog was pushing his nose against her leg and she had book club in twenty minutes and she could have easily told me to call her later. But she didn’t. She stayed on the phone and talked to me for ten minutes in between bites of her salad just to hear every little detail about my day.

She encourages you to follow your dreams: She sees the college tuition bills come rolling in. She sees how much money you spend on supplies and books. She sees how passionate you are that you’ll stand in the rain for six hours at SCAD Style to see your favorite designer. She loves everything about your dreams. If there’s one person who is always going to tell you that you’re doing the right thing in life and that you should never give up, it’s your mom.

She's there when nobody else is: Sometimes I just want to curl up on the couch with my mom and watch Ridiculousness all afternoon. Most of the time this is by choice, but sometimes it's my only option because it feels like I have nobody else. When you feel alone and left out, know that your mom is there. It may sound so cheesy because duh she’s there, she has to be. But it’s not about the fact that she has to be. She wants to be there. She’s your shoulder to cry on and she’s more than okay with that. There is never a time in your life where you won’t be able to count on your mom to just be there.